Introducing Caring Connections
“Pastoral Care” at Saint Luke’s Expands to Include all Parishioners
And Becomes “Caring Connections.”
More than just a name change, Caring Connections changes the whole concept of care giving and receiving at Saint Luke’s. It names an initiative that invites all parishioners (both clergy and lay) to live and participate in a mutually caring community. With deep respect and sensitivity, members of this community will support each other in times of need, and whole-heartedly celebrate each other in times of joy. Through these mutually “loving acts” Saint Luke’s will become a transformed and transforming community that strengthens members for Christian service in the world.
Saint Luke’s has long been known in town as a friendly church, however as a community, we’ve bitten off a much bolder challenge to “build an accepting and transforming community, extending God’s unconditional welcome to all.” This second part of our vision statement may sound like just so much “church babble” without some flesh on the bones – clear strategies to help all of us begin making the vision real. It all starts with a commitment to actually get to know each other. First by learning each others’ names (what a concept!), and then by consistently deepening relationships with each other so that when you or I need a hand with a difficult situation, we are “there for each other.” This means that if we see someone who seems to be hurting next to us in the pew or in the parking lot, we’ll reach out to help. And if we are hurting, we’ll actually ask for help. That’s a tall order in a community like ours where we pride ourselves on being self-sufficient, in control, on top of the world. Deep down we all struggle, so we want Saint Luke’s to be a place where we can let go of pretenses and struggle honestly together. And the good news is that as we shift to deeper and more authentic relationships, we will grow the spiritual power to live out the other two parts of our vision: deepening our faith, and working alongside our neighbors.
It is with this conviction that Saint Luke’s has completely reinvented what for years has been called “pastoral care,” a set of ministries in which clergy and trained parishioners have helped to serve others who need a hand with illness, loss of a loved one, or a whole host of other challenges we all experience. But as wonderful as these ministries are, they’ve benefited only our dedicated volunteers and that small number of parishioners who have asked for help. Most of our parishioners’ lives and needs have not been supported by these ministries. Enter Caring Connections!
Caring Connections is the result of two years of work by the Futures Group to craft a new vision for Saint Luke’s and another year and a half of work by the Pastoral Care Advisory Group to identify ways Saint Luke’s parishioners can begin living that second part of our vision about building an accepting and transforming community.
It is our response to two large-parish realities and a societal paradigm. In a big church, parishioners tend to become anonymous and the clergy cannot personally attend to every individual in need. In our society it is our custom to suffer in private rather than to admit vulnerability by asking for help.
While Caring Connections will certainly relieve an overburdened clergy, the real benefit of this new mutual ministry approach will be to build connections between parishioners so that we all become better known to each other and that giving and receiving become more natural and spontaneous. This will not happen over night but over time – one introduction after another, one friendship after another, one loving act after another, month after month, year after year.
Caring Connections is under the overall guidance of Co-Leaders Pamela Lape, 655-8951, pamelalape@aol.com and Kim Nightingale, 359-6345, pnightingale@msn.com, and lay advisor, Dawn Stegelmann, 324-4962, dariendawn@aol.com. The ministry is organized to accomplish its mission through five main components described briefly below. There are more detailed descriptions under the four bold headings that follow.
• A new “Connectors Team” that reaches out to parishioners who are becoming disconnected or isolated from our community, or who may need specific help. This team visits, strengthens ties to the parish and arranges whatever help may be needed from Saint Luke’s or elsewhere;
• A new “Lay Chaplains Team” which offers spiritual support, hospital and home visits and crisis help to parishioners undergoing major life transitions or who need spiritual guidance;
• A new “Communications Team” that will support the other Caring Connections ministries and help us all make the behavioral shift our vision calls for through print and electronic media messages, and by identifying ways that we can get to know each other better at Saint Luke’s;
• Clergy, who will continue to provide, in partnership with the other ministries, pastoral counseling and spiritual guidance, as well as hospital and home visits. Importantly, in order to assure confidentiality and accountability throughout the new system, clergy will meet weekly with the leaders of these new teams in a true partnership;
• The existing Pastoral Care, now Caring Connection, ministries.
We hope you will welcome and embrace our new Caring Connections initiative. More important, we hope you will find a way to play your part in this significant parish-wide effort, whether it means volunteering for a current ministry team, alerting the clergy or Caring Connectors to someone you know needs help, calling us if you have a difficulty, or simply introducing yourself to the people around you in the pew the next time we “pass the peace” on Sunday.
For conceiving, structuring and launching Caring Connections we send up a prayer of thanksgiving for the leadership and counsel of the Rev. Dr. Paul J. Carling, the Rev. David R. Anderson, Kim Nightingale, vestry liaison for Caring Connections, the parishioners who served with the Pastoral Care Futures Group, the Caring Connections Advisory Group, and especially to those who have agreed to leadership roles on our Caring Connections Teams.
“The hallmark of the early church of the apostles was simple but powerful: they took care of one another. The early church grew like topsy because people flocked to a community where they found simple human care. In succeeding centuries that kind of care was gradually shifted to the clergy, and the whole body of the church lost something powerful – the shared ministry of caring for each other. Caring Connections is already helping us to be a congregation of mutual ministry, and that truly excites me.”
- The Rev. David Anderson
Caring Connectors: A Flexible Vehicle to Identify Needs and Provide Support
This new team is headed by Pinky Haydock and Charlie England and includes a cadre of volunteers with great listening and interpersonal skills, a commitment to confidentiality, the ability to determine what types of support parishioners might need, and the knowledge to make connections for them with our own clergy, lay chaplains, existing care ministries, other parishioners and parish groups, or resources in the wider community that can provide help or comfort. In certain cases, Caring Connectors may themselves develop an extended caring relationship with a parishioner. In short, Caring Connectors are the point people – where the connections start and the caring begins.
Caring Connectors make a two-year commitment to their ministries. They must become knowledgeable about all the available resources, in house and in the wider community. They must be able to maintain a high degree of confidentiality. They must not only be good listeners, good observers and have good needs assessment skills, but they must be good record keepers, following up on progress and making regular reports to keep our clergy informed. Anyone interested in volunteering for this caring ministry are urged to contct Pinky Haydock at pinkyh@optonline.net or Charlie England at emmons3@attglobal.net.
“I am blessed to be a part of this strong parish family, and feel that it’s a privilege to safely share in each others lives. Just as healthy families care for and support one another in good times and difficult times, we want Saint Luke’s to grow in God’s love and strength.”
- Pinky Haydock
Saint Luke’s Lay Chaplains
This new Caring Connections team, working closely with and under the direct supervision of our clergy, will provide spiritual care to fellow parishioners. Four parishioners have agreed to serve as lay chaplains: Margaret Anderson, Sally Johnson, Jennifer Kepner and Blake Robinson, who will be the team’s facilitator. Blake is a recent graduate of Greenwich Hospital’s Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE) course, a chaplain training program. The word chaplain is derived from an Old French term meaning clergy assigned to a chapel. Throughout history, chaplains have worked I a variety of settings – the military, hospitals, schools and universities, governments, prisons, nursing homes and assisted living facilities. Corporations are beginning to hire chaplains to provide spiritual care to their employees – a new fringe benefit. Increasingly, lay people are receiving training and working as chaplains.
Our Lay Chaplains team will visit with parishioners in the hospital, be companions in prayer and be present and supportive in times of crisis. The chaplains will offer spiritual direction, either individually or in a group setting. Privileged information will be treated with sensitivity, and confidentiality will be strictly honored and maintained.
Blake and his team are already beginning to visit with parishioners. So if you are presently in a place I life where you are asking” “Why, God?” and one of our chaplains could be a comfort to you. We may not have the answers, but we would be privileged to sit with you, pray with you and ponder the question together.
“This new chaplaincy ministry fits beautifully into our mission ‘to build an accepting and transforming community.’”
- Blake Robinson
The Communications Team
Led by Charlie Tyson, the communications team also includes Liz Bacon, Judy Kemp and Frank Huck. Why a Communications Team? Because we know that an initiative as wide-ranging and transformative as Caring Connections will take time and continuous communication to become known, accepted and successful. We anticipate sharing stories (through Tidings, the parish web site, and other media) about how our community is becoming more mutually caring, and about how to access the abundance of supportive resources available to parishioners. We will examine the various ways we gather at Saint Luke’s and propose strategies for making these gatherings venues for getting to know each other better. And we’ll also publicize related efforts, like the new Foyers Program in which over 50 parishioners are building relationships by gathering for meal in each other’s homes.
But we will not fully achieve our communications objectives without you. Too often we have no idea when a parishioner is struggling financially or relationally, or has gone into the hospital, or has some other difficulty. You can help by encouraging your friends at Saint Luke’s to reach out, thumb their noses at convention, and ask for support when they need it. You can reach out yourself. Or if you are worrying about a parishioner, you can discretely (and in confidence) let the clergy know, so that at least prayers can be said for them.
Communications is one key to the success of the Caring Connections initiative. If you have ideas about how we can do a better job of getting to know and to support each other, or if you’d like to share your story with the parish, contact Charlie Tyson at charles.tyson@saintlukesdarien.org.
Existing Caring Connections Ministries
Following are the current Saint Luke’s ministries described in our Parish Directory under Pastoral Care. These ministries serve three purposes. First, they are resources for particular types of care and support for parishioners. Second, they are sources of referrals to the Caring Connectors Team led by Pinky Haydock and Charlie England. And third, they are the starting point for many valuable informal friendships that connect and bond our parishioners with each other, creating a stronger healthier parish community.
Saint Luke’s welcomes all who are interested in volunteering in these ministries and who wish to help provide an environment of trust and support for those who would welcome a caring presence during times of difficulty or in times of celebration. Please contact the Caring Coordinator of the ministry in which you are interested.
"This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you."
– John 15:12
Existing Ministries
• Caring Through Casseroles delivers meals to people’s homes at times of sickness or recovery and in times of joy and celebration. Coordinators: Cooking: MG Fuller, 655-3355, mgfuller@optonline.net, Carrie McMaster, 323-8053, cmcmaster@optonline.net. Delivery: Patty Winter, 656-0385, pattywinter@yahoo.com, Louise Johnson, 655-2267, louisejohnson@camparcadia.com.
• Card Ministry provides a caring connection between the church and its parishioners by sending cards recognizing special occasions in people’s lives. Coordinators: Jenny Moe, 662-9421, jennymoe@webtv.net and Helen Broadhurst, 655-2790, helenbroadhurst@sbcglobal.net.
• Flower Delivery takes altar flowers from our Sunday services to those for whom we are praying. Coordinator: Ginny Lovas, 866-0737, Fcfso72@aol.com.
• Guild of Saint Martha hosts receptions for parishioners and friends after funerals or memorial services and for small groups. Coordinators: Jeanne Kroll, 655-1315, omajk@optonline.net, and Ronnie Carey, 655-2067, rcarey27@aol.com.
• Knitting and Needlepoint makes beautiful prayer shawls for those who are ill or have lost a loved one. Coordinators: Julie Pearson, 655-8841, jcpearson8@aol.com and Julie Potter, 655-4813, pottersJJ@aol.com.
• Lay Eucharistic Ministry offers a brief service, including the Eucharist, to those unable to attend church services. Coordinators: Judy Holding, 655-2425, jkholding@aol.com and Sally Joslin, 655-4591, ramsal@optonline.net.
• Prayer and Healing Ministry offers healing prayer, intercessory prayer and the laying on of hands to those in pain or sorrow. Coordinators: Jane Prince, 655-7984, janeprince@aol.com and Lynne Tiano, 656-0024, lynneTiano@aol.com.
• Saint Luke’s Charioteers provide transportation to church services and church functions for those unable to drive. Coordinators: Susan Benzyk, 348-0333, sbenzyk@aol.com and Valerie Maroney, 655-3309, maroney@darienps.org.
• Small Tasks Force is a ministry that provides helping hands with small household and outdoor chores on an onging basis for our parishioners who cannot or should not do it by themselves. Coordinator: Sam Bridges, 324-3404, sbridges@optonline.net.
• Thanksgiving for the Birth of a Child in which clergy visit the home of families with a new baby to provide a special blessing. Coordinator; The Rev. Dr. Paul Carling, 655-1456, paul.carling@saintlukesdarien.org.
